While I don't necessarily consider myself a hater of fun, I do find that my mood is a bit more prickly around the holidays. While I am sure there are many reasons for this fun-time funk, its mostly because I have no idea why we celabrate holidays the way we do. Take the 4th of July for instance. How does the practice of setting off fireworks ( an invention of the chinese) in any way commemorate oour independence? Wouldn't it be more meaningful to harass the British about their teeth or poke fun at their attrocious taste in food? Maybe for Thanksgiving we could fly over a reservation and drop beads and as well as blankets soaked in 'fire water' and small pox. Presidents Day can be spent making promises and then breaking them and Columbus Day should be spent getting lost and renaming things. Halloween only serves as a catalyst for the rising childhood obesity rate and an excuse for the ladies to dress as women of questionable virtue. Groundhog's day is great. Each year we gather around a rodent, hoping for an early spring. No wonder so many countries hate us, we're idiots!

Not being Jewish, I have the privelege of ignoring Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, and Hannukkah. Valentines Day is strictly a way to make romantically inept asses like myself look bad and does anyone know who the hell Leif Erikson is?

Luckily we have Easter and Christmas to look foward to. What better way to celabrate the newly risen Christ than to hide eggs filled with candy? Or to max out credit cards and shower spoiled imps with gifts in honor of the Savior's birth?

Maybe if Obama is elected he'll tack another day onto February and christen it Holiday Hating Day. After all, we all need a little more change in our lives.