Seeing as how I voluntarily chose to move back to Misourri, I try and refrain from poking fun of the residents herein. However, a myriad of painful anecdotes has recently come to my attention, making me wonder wether or not the practice of euthanization should become more commonplace.

The first incident is what can happen when idiots try and do home repair themselves. While running some electrical wiring from the inside of the house out, a man became terribly frustrated with his drill. Becoming incensed, he cast aside the drill and tried to punch a hole through the wall. Why he thought he could punch a hole through a wall the refused to yield a diamond sharpened drill bit is beyond me. As you can imagine, he broke his hand...but the story continues. Reaching peak rage, he ran to his truck, grabbed a shotgun and proceeded to blast a hole through the wall. His wife, waiting on the other side in order to feed the wires through, took the blow in the chest and is now dead. There are no words.

How can this get worse you might ask? Well it doesn't; only creepier. A gentle in possession of a copious amount of canines, apparently grew weary of their 'company' and hit the town. Breaking into a man's private kennel, the man the proceeded to sodomized and fornicate with several of the owners prized hunting dogs. Yucky...

How people like this are still alive is a testament to the resiliency of man, instilled by the creator. Had we all evolved from apes, these brainiacs would have died off in a week...or been murdered in the name of sanity preservation.

Moral of the story? Those purchasing fire arms should be required to pass a test in order to ascertain gross incompetence. Those lonely, desperate, or sexually frustrated enough to solicit animals for sex, either need to be schooled in the art of the stranger, or consider the possibility of getting spayed or neutered...our very existence depends on it.