Feeling Stabby?

I'm several months into my first culinary gig, here's a sampling of the knowledge I've accrued.

1. Thin-skinned individuals don't stand a chance. A linecook will say anything regardless of its degree of offense. We recently hired an adolescent female dishwasher...I've seen her cry three times in two weeks.

2. Another cook's knives are off limits. Touching them may ultimately end in a stabbing. While not written in stone, the rule of thumb is, "Don't touch my dick, don't touch my knife."

3. Servers and cooks may work in the same establishment, and might sporadically act genial towards one another, (often with a motive carnal in nature), they are most certainly sworn enemies. As is to be expected, cooks are ultimately the dominant species. Accordingly, cooks may wander the dining room unmolested, while servers enter the kitchen at their own risk.

4. Sexual harrassment is a myth in the confines of the establishment...regardless of the government issued placards hanging pell mell about the walls. I've never been more excited to not have breasts.

More to come.