What the Hell?

I have officially been hit on by a transvestite. Last week an enormous hispanic she-man. batted his/her eyes at me and asked for directions to Illinois. If you need a mental picture, think a Latin American Andre the Giant dressed in a mini-skirt and tube top (with amole abdominal rollage) finished off with stilletto heels. Yuck. Sadly, having never driven to Ill., I was unable to point him.her in the right direction. SOme of you will be glad to know that I was able to contain my snickers to a minimum, you know, in order to protect his/her obviously very fragile feelings. I just thank the Good Lord that it wasn't able to menstruate.
Phil

P.S. I wonder what it would have looked like had it contracted the always tragic, yet ultimately funny disease, you guessed it, Uncontrollable Falling Down?