Odor Gaffes are Gross

Yesterday at a work meeting, one of the managers actually brought up the fact that we shoud be showering everyday, which made me wonder if there are still people out there not bathing? If you are not a bather and are reading this, please spray some perfume before you leave my blog, I have a horribly sensitive nose. Also, deodorant is fairly inexpensive, maybe next time instead of buying an entire carton of Pall Malls and a case of BEER brand beer you can purchase a few sticks of the smell good stuff.

Fashion Faux Pas? Not This Time, Guy!

Last night, while waiting for my brother to get off work, a gentleman came into the gas station and entirely changed my life.

Standing about 5'5", he was sporting a Far-Side t-shirt, shorty-short athletic shorts(blue) and a pair of brown dress shoes...minus the socks.

Well I say well done sir! In this era of one hundred dollar jeans and 300 dollar shoes, it is refreshing to see someone stare haute' coutoure' right square in the eyes and say "Eat my !$%# (insert preferred expletive here) Haughtily dressed fashionistas be damned!

I must confess that the item that pulled it all together was the caterpillar molestache draped elegantly acrossed his upper lip. A man will look long and hard to find its rival.

We salute you mustachioed shorty-short dress shoe man! Keep up the good work! America's counting on it!
Bahil


(Bahil: pron. Baaa --eeel origin; Daniel-ippino)

Of brothers, raves and deer.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to attend a rave located in some small midwestern town? I sure thought so! Well don't worry, I've taken the liberty of doing so for you. My very own brother recently hosted a 'rave themed' birthday party for one of his apperently very close friends.(Thats right, turns out adults can have theme parties too.) Chock full of bright young faces, the proverbial farmers daughter, the mayors kid, the local trailer-dweller and the pastors son, all brought together by the primal instict to drop X and gesticulate wildly to the incessant ungh-tis, ungh-tis, ungh-tis of generic techno music.
I for one applaud the bravery of these young kids, casting aside the hillbilly-esque stigma of small town teens and fighting to be taking seriously in the electronic dance scene.
But this rave went above and beyond those piddly big city raves. While big-time ravers use warehouses and clubs. these kids really brought a down-home, rustic feel to their party. Maybe it was the fire-in-a-barrell, or the field littered with broke down semi trucks and tractor skeletons. Whatever it was, I felt at home amongst these make-believe beatniks.

After a quick chat with the token black guy, apparently named 'Steve', I sadly shook my brothers hand and headed for the door. On my way home my brothers parting words echoed in my brain. Amidst the blaring techno, flailing arms and comatose stares, he pulled me aside and said..."Careful on your way home bro...there's a 14 point buck kicking around the woods, just waining to wreck your car."

"What a nice young man," I think on the drive home. As the beats fade into the background I imagine that fourteen point buck, a glowstick draped around its neck, and its hooves tapping quietly in tune with the music, and smile.
Bahil

I have arrived! After painstaking deliberation with my most trusted of advisors, I now have my own little corner of the world wide web. Being just short of computer illiterate, it is something of a miracle I have gotten this far in the whole blog process. (For the record, a friend of mind just informed me that 'blog' is not a phallical euphomism.) I have created this blog solely for my own personal amusement, so if something in here offends you, then it was probably meant to. If not, then I will certainly try harder next time.
This being my first post, I have vowed to keep it short, with a promise of much more to come.
Bahil